"Did you ever see this?? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3PbaFQBgv8&NR=1 "

"no. I had not. and I'm not sure if I'm going to thank you."


buying stuff

This is what any major purchase jevan & amelia attempt to make looks like:


smurf sex

"Good Jevan;
I have been gifted several K2 LEDs. They are 450 nM (deep royal blue)
and can be run at 1 amp plus (with heat sink). These mothers are BRIGHT!

Got any uses for such ? Eq to about a 60W bulb but monochromatic."

Hmm... can't really think of any real uses.... intense mood lighting?

me: "amelia's let's-pretend-we're-smurfs sex parlor"

Jevan: hehe

me: but I'm not sure you should tell my dad that...

Jevan: I'm just gonna reply with something along the lines of: "Wow those sound cool... but I don't think I have any real use of them... other than intense mood lighting"

me: okay
no smurf sex?

Jevan: hehe
I'm not sure if it'd work out like you are imagining

me: we'd probably look more like blue men

me: and blue men just make me think of analrappy now


learning to swim

I learned to swim at polly's puddle--a great big indoor pool balanced on the upper west side of santa cruz. I still remember the feel & smell of warm chlorinated steam, how I'd get to play with the miniature water wheel if I'd been brave and dove into the deep end. She wore a bathing cap (I may have had to too) which struck this little hippie child as very strange.

I must have been 3 or so, and she must have been at least 70 (strange how young that seems now that my own father is 65.) I believe she retired soon after. Those lessons were one of the best things my parents did for me. I still never feel as free or alive as when in the water.

Strange it's one of those pleasures I constantly deny myself.

Below is everything the internet divulges to let me know I am not yet completely insane:

Pauline McNeely

A celebration of life will be held Dec. 3 for Pauline "Polly" McNeely of Eugene, who died Nov. 12 of age-related causes. She was 86.

McNeely was born June 21, 1919, in Santa Cruz, Calif., to Don and Minnie Madden Sadler. She married Sam McNeely on June 24, 1945, in Santa Cruz. He died May 13, 1994.

She had lived in Santa Cruz all her life until she moved to Eugene 3 1/2 years ago. She graduated from the National Aquatic School in Prescott, Ariz., in 1954, and taught survival swimming for 52 years, including employment at the Santa Cruz Plunge, Shaffer's Tropical Gardens, Harvey West Park and Santa Cruz High School.

Starting in 1962, she taught swimming lessons for many years in the swimming pool in her backyard, Polly's Puddle, in Santa Cruz. She taught children and adults, including those with mental or physical disabilities.

McNeely was named Santa Cruz Woman of the Year in 1963. She enjoyed sewing and gardening.

Survivors include two daughters, Pamela Brodey of Crow and Donna Smartt of Wallace, Calif.; a son, Dennis of Santa Cruz; six grandchildren; and two great-grand- children.

The Dec. 3 celebration will be held at the Cocoanut Grove Banquet and Conference Center in Santa Cruz.

Musgrove Family Mortuary in Eugene is in charge of arrangements.

Memorial contributions may be made to the Stewart Aquatic Center.

News obituaries are printed free as space allows. The News Department will accept information on its standard obituary forms submitted through funeral homes or by the deceased's immediate family. Obituary information is available at (phone) 485-1234, Ext. 5534, or (fax) 683-7631. If you want to purchase advertising space for a more detailed obituary, call 338-2421. News obituaries published in the past 30 days are available at www.registerguard.com.

HeroesPolly's Puddle. Where I learned to swim and this women taught until the age of 87.


color me bad

for my husband who HATES cop & lawyer shows, and my good friend that can't get enough of the crime drama--though I'm pretty sure she has yet to stoop this low:


did I use that hyphen correctly?


intended to serve the public interest

Trying to use Demurrage in a dirty sentence.


too many tabs

I kept wondering why npr had incongruent calypso music in the back of this really really long story that seemed to be several stories combined only they didn't combine--then realized I still had this open...

It's good, everyone's mother should play.



so a few years ago a friend of mine died, january 16th 2006 actually.

we hadn't really talked in several years, and the last interaction wasn't all peaches; her mocking goths, as i sat there fat and dyed-black haired in my sisters of mercy t-shirt.

but i was always happy to know she was alive, that she existed. i got along better w/ her last girl-friend. she went to the college of my dreams, that I wanted to attend before she knew it existed (they rejected me.)

i took it much harder than i ever thought i would. some consider me cold, heartless; i didn't think i cried except for self interest, knowing everyone's time is up - when a friend committed suicide in the 6th grade i never shed a tear. but her death was harder, when i heard i lost the ability to stand. was at work, had to go back to my desk and drink a 1/2 gallon of water just to feel my body enough to stand again.

for months afterwards i'd wake up crying, having conversations with her in my dreams.
the funny bit is, she was one of the most significant people in my development, and i never think she knew.

first time i ever did speed--with her, of course she'd done it before, old hat to the game. but i was one of those easily impressed youths.

and that was where our friendship fell apart.

last time i really saw her was after i'd been up three days, had a promise with the roommate to stay clean 'till we saw each other again. i tried to be a normal(?) teen, stay the night at a friend's house, roommate smoked, i wigged, had to go back to the den. I don't think my friend's parents even really knew what was going on, and if they did never faced my father about it.

she moved to New York, went to England, went to college. i got into a dead-end 7ry relationship.

and looking into her coffin, all i could see was the 8yr old lip-syncing to the oldies (rob orbison, marvin gay, hey mr postman) and the 15yr old i took acid with, swimming in the pool (made of jello) listening to james, listening to blur-park life, which i'm listening to right now, thing of her.

and i looked into that coffin, and saw the precarious (totally not the word i want, but my vocabulary is failing me) nature of life, saw one of the most alive people i'd even known--pale and dead--and cried harder than i knew i could.


three bean salad

Mix together in large bowl in amounts that please your senses
  • 1 can black soy beans
  • 1 can kidney beans
  • 1 can green beans
  • marinated roasted red peppadew peppers, torn to pieces
  • small onions marinated in balsamic vinaigrette (can be found sometimes in the olive bar area of yuppie grocery stores) torn to pieces
  • pepperoncinis, torn to pieces
  • chopped garlic
  • powdered garlic
  • fresh parsley
  • fresh oregano
  • dried thyme
  • red pepper flakes
  • kosher salt
  • olive oil
  • balsamic vinegar
  • white vinegar
serve garnished w/ fresh French baguette pieces topped w/ ricotta, fresh ground black pepper and fresh grated nutmeg.

poached egg

  1. poach egg, place in small ramekin
  2. reduce following ingredients until thick & tasty:
  • 1/2 & 1/2
  • butter
  • lemon juice
  • lots of paprika
  • champagne vinegar
  • ground sage
  • black pepper
  • fresh oregano (pull out after a minute)
  • honey

3. spoon sauce over egg and top w/fresh chopped parsley


what keeps me in Davis

Walking in the arboretum, lunch break, sunny, not yet devastatingly hot...

ducklings! ducklings! ducklings!

They are here again! I can stare for hours, Jevan has to pull me away when Itry to stuff them in my bag, completely convinced they really can live a happy life in our bathtub.

also a pair of Chinese Fringe Trees in bloom; turtles sunning themselves; swallows (?) with red bellies skimming the pond for insects, splashing down each time so hard I'm afraid they'll get stuck in the murky water; and a foot & 1/2 long black carp rising to the surface.

Ahhhh, spring.


did you ever think

that maybe the incomprehensibility of David Lynch could be the solution to all our problems?

(and take this Mac whores!)